Spell HIV
by Nathan and Sarah
Summary: Spelling Bee and RENT are two totally different shows. What do you think would happen if the Spelling Bee characters and the RENT characters switched plays? Believe me, it would get very interesting...Spelling Bee and RENT crossover, please r&r!


Spell HIV

**Chapter 1**

"PINK OVERALLS?!"

"Yes, Mimi, that's what they appear to be," said Mark.

"PINK FUCKING OVERALLS?"

Mark backed away slowly. He backed into Roger, who was wearing a tie.

"Roger… what's with the tie?"

"What's with the boy scout uniform?" Roger retorted.

Maureen skipped in.

"Maureen is wearing a _tux_!"

"Ohmigod! I am!" she gasped.

"I feel better now," said Mimi. "And those braids suit you well."

"Gee, thanks," Maureen grumbled.

Joanne stormed in, wearing a knee-length plaid skirt. "You think you have it hard? This is the _last time _you will _ever_ see me in a skirt."

Mimi and Maureen burst into hysterical laughter, forgetting what they were wearing themselves.

Collins walked in wearing clothes that looked as if they had come out of the dump.

"Nice cape," said Roger, grinning stupidly.

Collins glared at him. "Thanks…"  
Benny and Angel walked into the gym, arm in arm.

"ANGEL? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" Collins shrieked.

Angel looked confused.

"Well, alrighty then, let's get the spelling bee started," said Benny.

Everyone's jaw dropped in unison. "What spelling bee?" they chorused.

"The Twenty-Fifth annual Putnam County Spelling Bee," Angel said happily.

"Try saying that five times fast," Roger whispered in Mimi's ear. She grinned.

"The Twenty-Fifth annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, The Twenty-Fifth annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, The Twenty-Fifth annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, The Twenty-Fifth annual Putnam County Spelling Bee…" Angel started.

"Angel, shut up," said Collins.

"My name is Rona. One more time. The Twenty-Fifth annual Putnam County Spelling Bee."  
"Okie-dokie," said Benny. "Let's start. Miss Johnson, your word is retentive."

Maureen stared at him, then grinned at Joanne. Joanne stuck her tongue out at her lover. "Um, what am I supposed to do?" asked Maureen, twirling her braid.

"Spell the word," Benny said angrily.

"Why should I? This isn't a spelling bee."

"Yes it is!" chirped Angel. "It's the Twenty-Fifth annual Putnam County Spelling Bee!"

"Fiiiiiiiiiine. I'll spell the damn word. R-E-T-E-N-T-I-V-E. Retentive. The definition is Joanne Jefferson."

"I was supposed to say the definition, but whatever. You were right," said Benny. "Mr. Davis, your word is silhouette."

"S-I-L-H-O-U-E-T-T-E. Silhouette. Used in a sentence, Mimi, your silhouette is sexy."

Mimi blushed.

"You stupid kids keep stealing my job! But that is correct."

"Benny, I'm _older_ than you…" Collins pointed out.

"Wait a minute," said Mark out of the blue. "If we're here, then who the hell is in our lives?"

"What am I wearing?" Olive gasped.

"Practically nothing," said Chip.

"WHAT THE FUCK AM I WEARING? And why are you in my loft? You shouldn't be looking at me in these clothes! I'm not decent!"

Chip put away his camera.

"PERVERT!" she screamed, and she kicked him out of the loft.

_Upstairs…_

"Where were you, Chip?" asked William.

"Filming," Chip replied smugly.

"Get anything interesting?"

"Oh, wait until you see it."

"I… can't wait…" William said, looking a little afraid.

"You'll _love_ this footage, I promise. And William?"

"Yeah?"

"What's with the guitar?"

"What guitar?"

"The one you're holding right now."

William looked down, realizing for the first time that he was carrying a guitar. "Oh yeah…" he said. Chip just laughed. "That. See… I'm, um…"

"You play guitar?"

"Hey! You people! Gimme the jingly thingies!" called Leaf who was standing on the sidewalk looking up at their loft.

"Leaf Coneybear? Great…" muttered Chip.

"Nice hat!" called William.

"Oh, you mean the thing on my head?"

"That's a hat…" Chip replied.

"Oh! I thought I was wearing my helmet."

Chip shook his head. "You are hopeless."

The phone rang. "SPEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAK!!!!!!!!" called the answering machine.

"Why does our answering machine say that?" asked William.

"Why do we share an answering machine?" wondered Chip.

"Hey, you guyth," said Logainne. "It'th me, Logainne. Did you hear Obama ith running for Prethident in 2008? Anywayth, tho, Chip, I apparently need thome help with thome equipment for a protetht. Could you gimme a hand? Oh, and pleathe don't tell me you voted for Bush…"

Chip picked up the phone. "Logainne, according to my calendar, it's 1989."

"Thcrew your calendar!"

"Tell Logainne to watch her language," called William.

"I heard that! HI WILLY!" she called. "Hey, I jutht realithed that you have the thame name ath Clinton!" she added. "Oh, and by the way, I'm wearing tight-ath leather pantth!" She hung up.

Chip put down the receiver. "Guess what Schwarzy's wearing?"

"What?" asked William, fearing the worst.

"'Tight-ath leather pantth,' and I quote."

"Oh dear God… what else could happen?"

_Meanwhile, with Logainne…_

"I am so dead when I go to school. My dress code doesn't allow suspenders," Marcy complained.

Logainne screamed. "WHY ARE YOU HERE?!"

Marcy flinched. "Please don't hurt me. I need to complain to someone about these stupid suspenders, and you were the only one who seemed normal enough to care."

"Wait, what…?"

"Olive is half-naked, William has a guitar, Chip is practically in love with a camera, Leaf is just Leaf… so that leaves you and your 'tight-ath leather pantth'."

"You heard that?"

"Mm-hm. I know everything, Logainne."

Logainne blushed.

"You're cute when you blush."

They began making out.

_Meanwhile, with Leaf…_

Leaf had forgotten the keys by now. It had only been about ten seconds, but he didn't care anymore. He heard someone playing the drums. "Howdy, Rona!" he called, running over.

Rona looked at him oddly. "My name is Angel. Who the hell is Rona?"

"Oh, really?" asked Leaf. "Well, you don't really look like Rona, anyway. Rona's hair is long."

Rona's hair was cut short, in an almost boyish fashion, and she was wearing an old pair of jeans. In front of her was a plastic pickle tub. She held drumsticks and was playing the pickle tub for money. "I'm also not really a girl. Can you keep that a secret?" she asked.

"So you're a boy, too?" Leaf asked gleefully. "We should start a club!"

Rona smiled. "That would be nice…"

Leaf clapped his hands in joy.

Rona smiled and put on a long wig. "I have a Life Support meeting to go to later. Wanna come?"

Leaf nodded. Rona took his hand and they walked together, William and Chip all but forgotten.

"For some odd reason," Mimi said to Mark, "I really don't want to know."


End file.
